Little by Little

As we enter week 13 of lockdown and shielding for the elderly and vulnerable, I wanted to tell everyone how we’re getting on and the plans we have to try to help ourselves and others.

Due to having a degenerative condition I have been petrified by Covid-19 and the threat it brings. My immune system runs at about 20% and I feel that my body would not be able to fight it. During this time, I have been trying my best to exercise but I’m limited due to space and we’re still waiting for official advice from governing bodies to instruct us when it is safe to go outside again.

I would usually see my private physical trainer (PT, Gregg) in Aylesbury on a one-to-one but of course this has been impossible, which is a massive shame. Gregg takes care of me physically and psychologically and the two go hand-in-hand, as I always leave the dojo exhausted but extremely happy due to the amazing endorphins having a party!

Sadly, over this period, little by little, I have deteriorated physically, which in effect has done similar things to my head. I have been trying my best to stay positive and keep walking, but I’m now only covering a few steps around the house and not any kind of distance at all. The muscle mass and muscle memory are fading away, and it’s strange to think that Covid-19 would have these side-effects on my family and I. I’m finding it difficult to lift my arms too and have to help myself by using my left hand to lift my right hand and vice-versa. I’m losing functions daily, things I used to be able to do on a Tuesday I cannot now do on a Wednesday; it’s that noticeable to me.

Just yesterday I started to think of the things I did before COVID hit and whether I would be able to do them again? The dog walks with family and just some fun in the park or at the beach. I’m a huge family person too and I miss the hugs and the emotion of meeting up.

Myself and son-in-law getting stuck!

I’m a very lucky man and have lived a great life so far and been so fortunate to have been to places and seen so much with my wife, but I now have concerns for others around me and I believe that we should be selfless and help where we can. With social media during this time we can see others struggle too.

Online I have seen the struggles of young friends like Finley (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) and Carmela (LMNA Congenital Muscular Dystrophy), young children who deserve a better future, some hope and light out of all this darkness.

My mate Finley!

I have been inspired by their families and all they are having to deal with at the moment, and I would like to try to help, to make sure there is a future for them, to reassure them that fundraisers are still out there doing their best to help others, just like my team always do. And so I came up with a plan to help myself, the charity and most importantly children like Finley and Carmela.

Carmela the warrior!

As you know, I am a very proud volunteer and ambassador for Muscular Dystrophy UK and right now the charity that we volunteer for faces a huge crisis with a funding gap of £2.8 million, due to the current COVID-19 crisis.

On June 20th (this Saturday!) the Football League starts again and with help from The Square Ball and the Leeds United Supporters’ Trust, a group of family and friends will cover the distance it takes to get our family from Aylesbury to Elland Rd, Leeds and then back again on Sunday June 21st! That is 316 miles!

We will cover this distance between us by walking, running, cycling and maybe even swimming! I will be walking impossible miles in the safety of my back garden with support from my wife and the girls.

The objective is to raise vital funds for Muscular Dystrophy UK so these children and their families have a charity to turn to in the future, to help myself and try to get moving physically, to push myself to the limit and therefore help my mental health too.

A few years ago, I was the guinea pig for a campaign called ‘Move a Mile for Muscles’. Well you can consider this the 2020 relaunch of that campaign. It might not sound like much, but to organise 30 people all over the UK to take part in a virtual baton relay covering 316 miles is quite something, and this all has to be completed by midday on Sunday 21st June, because that’s when Leeds United re-start their campaign in the Football League, so we have a deadline too!

I would like to conclude with many thanks and so much gratitude. This has not all been a negative situation. We have clapped for our carers; neighbours have knocked to ask if we needed any shopping or supplies and we’ve never spoken in the past, friends have called round for social distancing coffee, sharing delivery slots with family and so many video calls from family and friends far and wide (Perth, WA!) when we may not have usually done any of that.

We must now try to take some of this experience with us when we go forward in life, some of the empathy and compassion is what should become the ‘new normal’; the polite conversation between the courier or the shopping delivery person, waving to the neighbours from our windows and the calling of concerns for welfare over the garden fence. We should put more emphasis on how easy it is to be selfless because it will cost us nothing at all.

If you would like to take part in ‘Move a Mile for Muscles’ or get involved in any way to help me to help others, then you can get in touch on my social channels, start your own page and sponsorship would be greatly appreciated here...

https://www.justgiving.com/campaign/hywoodsheroes


Little by Little we can make a huge difference.


Cheers!

#MoveAMileForMuscles
#HywoodsHeroes
#MusclesMatter

Ups and Downs

On 11th May 2012 I took to social media to tell my story about going to football as a disabled supporter. This was a ‘line in the sand’ moment for me in my life; nothing would be the same again. And what a journey it’s been……….. 

For me, social media has been an extremely positive experience, but I can appreciate it can be a dark place for so many people too and I’ve been asking myself why that is?

  

It seems that social media has enabled people to do and say as they wish and I believe this starts from the top down. Politicians and ‘trusted’ media outlets have been using vitriol and spreading bile for the last few years, more than ever before, and nobody has held them to account for it. What happens after that is every foot soldier for any political party, right across the spectrum, feels they have the right to also speak and write how they wish, without any comment or come-back expected. 

Obviously, we are adults and can quite easily not write or reply to these remarks we see on a now daily basis, but some of us do and what I’ve learnt is that it will eventually end up causing me concerns for my own state of mind.  

The problem with being politically argumentative on social media is that it then carries over into every single part of our lives. It is the age-old theory of the adult and the child; if the adult says or does something then you cannot expect the child not to copy. 

It seems to have become acceptable to judge someone on the colour of their skin, their ability or disability, their size, their gender and indeed their mental health. This is unacceptable and we need to change this attitude and fast. 

The old saying ‘if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all’ should be applied more often, and people should think more about how they interact with others and how they react to things they see on social media. My take has always been to show empathy, compassion and to be selfless, and trust me the return is incredible, it happens so naturally.  

I’m not innocent here either. I was thinking about my memories the other day and they say that most come from love, laughs or sadly trauma. The earliest memory I have is being sat on a potty on the edge of Mount Snowdon, where I literally crapped myself! I don’t think many people have to think about memories too much nowadays because Facebook can take care of that for us. It’s as if we have exported that part of our brains to a 2TB external hard drive and with that goes emotion and care. Our children see this and replicate it on their tablets and pads too, some of this is our fault, but it’s in our hands to change that, and to go and physically make new memories before it’s too late. 

After seeing and hearing lots of stories of people taking their lives, it resonates with me and reminded me of my dear friend Jermaine who sadly took his own life. He was exactly the sort of person who would definitely make you think everything was OK. He was, quite typically, the life and soul of anything he was involved in. I’ve never seen a smile like Jermaine’s and I’ll probably not see one like it again, and this is why we should all talk more, so these things are prevented. 

‘Be Kind’ should be an emotional default, we shouldn't even have to think about it. It's the way I've been treated and the way I treat others. I have been so lucky simply by being selfless. I’ve seen great things from people, so we must take all the positives and tell others about them too.  

Many adventures, memories and stories later and I’m still here fighting to beat my degenerative condition, and I actually feel like I’m winning both physically and mentally. And this isn’t all on me, it’s due to so many people around me. So many people have helped me come so far, due to belief and solidarity. 

The friendships made along the way and the awareness and funds raised have been beyond all of my expectations. During my campaign over the many years, I’ve been on Radio, TV, our film campaigns, I’ve met some of my heroes, we’ve had royal invitations, I’ve represented in the Houses of Parliament, headed up the national ‘Move A Mile For Muscles’ campaign, taken 40 willing family and friends up Mount Snowdon, carried the Paralympic torch, raced around Brands Hatch, raised so much awareness & funds and so much more than that.  All these things, along with friendships made, make all the pain worthwhile. The ability to be nice is really quite simple and will cost you absolutely nothing at all.

So where am I now? What’s next for me? 

On April 9th I will be hosting a comedy show with Jon Richardson & friends at the Waterside Theatre, Aylesbury. This is my biggest event by a long, long way and will be one that I am most proud of. I was dragged up on the best of British comedy from The Goons, Month Python, Norman Wisdom and so on. I still keep pinching myself as I drive past the theatre most days, unable to believe this is actually happening. It’s going to be incredible! 

The other day I was sat down enjoying my brew and I realised how far we have come, and I got quite emotional. I started with one blog post and walked one mile, which raised £1000. 

We are now an official charity family fund called “Hywood’s Heroes” and to date have raised over £150,000, which equates to 3,333 hours of world class research. All paid for by us and indeed you, reading this! 

This is what kindness, empathy and being selfless does. This is a massive positive about being on social media, this is the best of it, because I couldn’t have done it any other way. I find it impossible sometimes to put into words my gratitude and thanks to so many people. There was a time when I would sneak into football under the radar because of the way I walked due to muscle deterioration and exhaustion, utterly embarrassed by myself. Now I find it hard to meet up with so many people beforehand when there is also the important factor of indulging in chips and gravy before kick-off. Despite all my health issues I realise I am a very lucky person to have made so many friends. 

I think we should all try to use the word ‘hate’ less, scroll past if you don’t like something, don’t comment if it’s not necessary and try to be a bit bloody nicer. As I said, it will cost you nothing at all and everyone will feel better about many more things. I believe there is a connection between social media and our mental well-being, and we should take breaks away from the social media bubble more and get out and about. Exercise is a massive tonic to help unlock the cobwebs, release the stored thoughts and end the self-doubt and the relentless questioning of ourselves.  

Look out for those around you, ask if your friends are ok, be kind and be more selfless than you’ve ever been before. Take into account that we all have ups and downs and occasionally we need picking back up, because even the strongest of us fall down occasionally. 

Some of #HywoodsHeroes - Friendship!

Cheers!   X 

Samaritans – 116 123 from any phone 

Mind – 0300 123 3393 

#BeSelfless  #MusclesMatter