The Revolution Of The Resolution

It’s that time of year where we all promise to better ourselves, to be better than we were before and this grates on me. It always has done especially with the influx of the many different faces of social media.

People tweeting, facebooking, snapchatting and posting on Insta about the “New year, New me!” and by February they’re done, back to actively seeking out a “Maccys”.

Every year, for the last few years I have made promises to myself, to stay on my feet (quite literally), raise awareness and funds for others with Muscular Dystrophy and get as many other members of family and friends involved as possible.

I deteriorated in 2017, there is no doubt about that, I have become a lot weaker, a lot faster than I expected but I refuse to put too much emphasis on that.
As the title suggests here I will once again try to revolutionise the resolution, genuinely stick to my guns and fulfil the promises I make to myself and others, and once again you can come with me too. I am Mr positivity, it would be so easy for me to see the glass as half empty but this is not what I do, I will always be grateful for all I have and all we do together; family, friends old and new, those that I work with and those that stand beside me on the terraces, this is what is important to me and my family, this is my tonic.

Usually I would ask my wife; Michelle to retrospectively read and give advice on the blogs that I write but this time I asked her before. We both agreed that we shy away from the word inspirational so we would like to say that this year we encouraged other people to come with us and climb a mountain in Wales; the biggest mountain in fact. More than 40 of us made it with so many personal challenges and stories of our own, we made memories forever and as a group, over the year, raised over £13,000.

I just want to quickly give you three examples of what I mean, it wasn’t ever all about me.

My good friend Heidi is a fellow Leeds fan who feared the mountain because of her knees and her age (her own admission!) but despite this Heidi had recalled one of my own sayings on twitter... “If I Can, You Can Too” and she took that with her to the top and succeeded.

Marching up the Mountain- Heidi & Jo

Secondly, it was so surprising to see so many children get to the top, that was not the plan at all. The idea was that they got half way and turned around with some of the adults and return to base camp but they just kept going. Our friends daughter, Elsa Peterson sent me a message recently and she said “I felt really proud of what I’d done and faced a massive challenge and completed it”.
Memories made for many of us, forever.

Elsa - The Kids Are Alright

Lastly, my mate Ben Still who suffers badly with depression and anxiety says “If you can help others then you should, this time of year is never really pleasant for me, these fundraising things keep me going. Climbing Snowdon in 2017 and the Marathon in 2018 has given me something to focus on and this trickles down through our house and our family. I stop dwelling on the negative thoughts in my head and even my wife thinks I’ve been funnier and happier than ever before!”

Ben & Anne-Marie Still - On Top Of The World

So many people pushed to their limit and they still ended up thanking me for it rather than punching me on the nose!

Onto the new project that is 2018 and once again we have been overwhelmed with offers of help. People offering up their time to help me to help others and that is where my new idea comes from; Hywoods Heroes.

This is not a vanity project, this is not about me and what I’m doing. This is all about the team that want to find treatments for these rare conditions and I didn’t even ask them, people have been sending me messages since August in 2017 to try to help in any way in 2018 and here’s a little insight into just some of what we'll be up to...

A team of 5 runners will be taking part in the London Marathon.(Heather Curtis, Ben Still, Robert Holmes, Wayne Martinig and Mark Sammon)

Two friends will be skydiving 13,000 feet.(Ben Pusey and Neil Roblett)

So many people will be ‘Moving Miles’ for muscles including Ian Donachie and his Cub group who will be hiking in the Chilterns for the cause.

Our annual fundraiser at our local pub.

Taking part in Parallel London.

A visit to the famous Iffley Road track in Oxford.

A sponsored track day at Brands Hatch.(Ben Tucker)

And two very special challenges for myself, personally, something I’ve never tried before.

On Saturday 17^th March I have been invited by Leeds United to collect coins for Muscular Dystrophy UK (MD UK) around Elland Road and whilst doing this I will make a circuit of the ground myself. This will be a big a challenge for me as I left part of myself on Snowdon in 2017, I hurt myself and I’ve never recovered but it is what it is and I must not moan or carry on about it.

Luckily I wont be alone for my second big challenge for 2018. A team of us (The Marathon runners mentioned above) are arranging a ‘Black & Orange’ ball on October 27^th. 

The ball will consist of reception drinks, stories of the conditions, a three course meal, an incredible auction, finished off with dancing and drinking into the night.

Finally I have been given the opportunity to make a short film for MD UK , again with the help of friends such as Paul Adams, Simon Rix, Ralph Ineson and others.

The film will not be about me, it will highlight the reality of living with a muscle wasting condition and the outro will be told by celebrities telling you how important muscles are. This has been exhausting already but I am quite sure it will be worth it all in the long run.

So, you may ask yourself, can you help? Could you be one of Hywoods Heroes?

We have a target in 2018 of £15,000 to help children like my little mate, Finley and it is imperative that we do this.

Super Finley!

A massive thank you to everyone who has made a donation financially and offered to help physically, it is you that drives us on, you are the true Hywoods Heroes.

It honestly does not take that much to be selfless, there is so much power in self sacrifice and when you do something good you get a huge return, naturally.

Get Involved!

#MusclesMatter 

#HywoodsHeroes 

#IfICanYouCanToo 

Cheers!

https://www.justgiving.com/Martin-Hywood5

Huge thank you - Michelle  x

Some Might Say

Some might say you can't just ask for things and expect to get them; the same people that will try to quash ambition, their expectations of you and life are very little. That used to be me; I used to ask myself things and would put the answer off for myself, to protect me, to help me.

It's not about me anymore; I did make a decision about my illness and about trying to be more than just me, more than what I expect of myself and what others expect of me too. I always wanted to be happy and to be an adventurer so that's what I decided to be and the best part was that I was going to take some of you with me too, to be selfless is a wonderful thing, and sometimes you don't really have to try too hard at all.

Every year I have given myself a challenge to help towards funding research into my condition, not for me but for others that may receive a diagnosis. Every year the challenge has got bigger because I exceed what I thought I might in the previous year, with so much help from family and friends I have done many great things for the greater good, beyond what I ever thought possible.

It is a tradition of mine to announce my new plan for the year on the 1st of January every year, usually lunch time.

2017 was no different and I had been planning behind the scenes way before this point, it's always this way.

"This year I plan to take a team to the top of a mountain!"

WHAT?! What are you thinking, there are able bodied people in this world that wouldn't even try this, you must be mad.

Thing is, is this... I had seen lots of pictures of Mount Snowdon and it looked nice so that's what I chose. As it sunk in and people around me actually started taking me seriously they offered to join me, the usual suspects from all over England. My Leeds mates were in, "you're a soppy sod but count us in", my mate Dean was flabbergasted because it would mean he would have to thin out and get fit, a bit. Our eldest daughter; Lucie lovingly rolled her eyes and said "S'pose I'll have to get some new boots". We were on our way and my confidence was rising as more and more people signed up for our challenge.

Within the first week I had hit £600 on my fundraising page, within a month I hit £1000 and with this came great responsibility, there was no backing out and I was more than committed and with that came trepidation and panic.

The majority of the route planning and actual movement up the mountain was being taken care of by our guide; James. I worked with James and he also worked in lowland rescue and had also scaled Snowdon many times. I had no need to worry there then. My family and friends were extremely positive and enthusiastic but as the months went on something was keeping me up at night, an anxiety was scratching at the inside of my chest, shortening my breath when I wasn't even moving.

Occasionally I would be reminded that I was weak and I had a degenerative condition. I would fall, dislocate things, pull ligaments and not be able to get back up again. Sometimes, as much as I tried, mind over matter was not enough. The harsh reality of my condition was also an eye opener of why I actually need to get this team to the top. I never wanted anyone else to go through what my family go through on a daily basis; my condition affects all those around me. My disability is not just mine; it’s my families, my friends and my colleagues too.

It was never all about me though and those that had volunteered didn't think it was about them either, they thought they were coming with me to help me but I was actually trying to help them, to prove to them also that we can all achieve more than what we ever think we can, to take ourselves way out of our comfort zone physically and mentally.

The months moved rapidly this year and we were soon down to counting weeks and then on a Monday in May everything changed. I was sat in my office at work and a surge of fear swept over me, I was riddled with anxiety and the worst thoughts and fears I could ever imagine. My arms and legs were electric with pins and needles, my heart was thumping out of my chest, I thought that I had forgotten how to breathe and I felt like I would never be happy again. Luckily a first aider was near me and together we made our way to a quiet area to try to get some composure, calm and try to reset whatever was going on in my head. I went straight to my Doctors surgery and I sat there for hours until I could be seen, I described what had happened at work and there was a member of the mental health team on site who also listened to what I had to say. The diagnosis was a panic attack which I have never experienced before, I was advised to simply stop all my plans, this was my mind telling me it didn’t like the idea of putting myself through this. So there it was my choice was to stop what I was doing or make myself ill, Snowdon was far too ambitious.

I pondered on what to do and still feeling some panic inside I called a good friend of mine, I didn’t want to talk about this at home but I desperately needed to confide in someone for some sound advice. That was the best decision of the year, the best thing I could have done. My anonymous friend also told me to cut my ambition “Just keep telling yourself that you’re just going for a walk in North Wales, no more, no less, if you go upwards then that will be a bonus, as soon as you’ve stepped foot on the Llanberis path then you would have done more than most”. That was my tonic, that was the medicine that took the panic away, besides, it never was about me getting to the top, it was about me convincing a team to get to the top, to help me to help others. I’ll never forget that phone call, and I’ll never be able to thank that friend enough.

I thoroughly enjoyed our run up to the day apart from the week before as our team numbers were rising and I was trying to make sure over 40 people were all ok and everything was checked, safety was paramount and I wanted to make sure I had helped everyone in our team as much as possible, after all I had my daughters, god children and nieces to think of too!

We arrived at our base camp on the Friday evening after a gruelling six and half hours’ drive but the welcome was warm and the beer was cold, I couldn’t do anymore, everyone was here, everyone was equipped and smiles were in abundance. For the first time in six months I felt comfortable, what will be, will be.

We woke up on Saturday 1st of July and this was it, time to fuel up and get out to meet everyone. I tried my best to eat as much breakfast as I could but everything was tasteless and my mind was elsewhere, I just wanted to go and before we knew it we were in the cars and on our way to meet everyone else. It's 08:30 and the car park in Llanberis was already half full.

All set

So many beautiful faces were there and I felt very lucky, secure knowing that everyone here was here for the same reason as me, to take on this challenge, to support each other and to try to make a difference for others. All of this goes back to my first paragraph here, people turned up because I asked them to or in some cases I didn't need to. The people here didn't want a lay in, they didn't want to sit in and watch Saturday morning TV, we were all adventurers at least just for one day!

We had to split the group up into three separate groups and slowly but surely we made our way with lots of nervous energy as our catalyst, our fuel to stoke the fire in our bellies. Our chosen path was known as 'The Motorway' for getting up Snowdon and I could see why, it was such a busy path with lots of people moving at different speeds and indeed different ways. We saw competitive runners, morning joggers, a team of people tied together, teams of people lifting occupied wheelchairs and even a unicyclist! (Who just kept falling off!)

I had an expectation of myself, I knew this was going to hurt I just didn't know where and when. Well it was immediately and everywhere below my chest. My lower back ached because my muscles are like marshmallows and they just can't support me. My thighs were burning to compensate my non-existent hamstrings and my calf muscles and feet were pinging with pain, white hot stabbing pain.

I always said I wanted to get to the top of this mountain by hook or by crook, by any means possible and I couldn't help but lean on people, those around me became bannisters up a mountain like bannisters up our stairway. Nobody objected to helping me when I really needed them and they took it in turns too, without being asked or prompted. I was so proud of this team, I cannot tell you this enough because we all felt shattered as we were hitting two hours of climbing. All the while we laughed and told stories, fell over, laughed some more, cried a little, and laughed once again.

Brothers In Arms

This challenge was relentless, the surface was really taking its toll on my toes, they kept locking up and cramping, giving me a surging pain in my achilles heel too. The rest stops were becoming more frequent and I started to feel like a burden on the group. I was becoming beyond exhausted, at a point where we had to think about safety, the group kept going, the summit was insight.

 

The Summit is in sight

I wanted to get a group of 30 people to the top of Mount Snowdon; I wanted to prove to everyone who was willing to come along that we would make memories forever, for all of us to keep. There was more than 40 of us that got to the top and all I saw was smiles, that's all I ever wanted to see, my family and friends on top of a mountain, taking lots of pictures, smiling, cuddling, feeling overwhelmed and extremely happy.

Jubilation!

Time to celebrate!

Snowdon was one of the best days of my life and one of the worst. Best because of what I've just written above and worst because it was the biggest pain I had ever felt, a whole new level of enduring pain, pain where I never thought pain could get to! It was all worth it in the end though. We had some amazing donations and the Friday night before our climb my friend and fellow Leeds fan; Gary donated his work bonus to hit my target. It didn't stop with Gary though the donations kept pouring on to our Just Giving page and we soon hit £9000.

We’re on our way now you see, we are getting where we need to be. our page is nearly at £10,000 and that means hope with funds raised paying for World class research into these devastating conditions. We are laying foundations, giving scientists stepping stones to progress and treatments. None of this would have been possible without friendship and compassion; we all need friendship even more so as we grow older or less abled than we were the year before.

I never take a day for granted, since my diagnosis every day has been a fresh start and an opportunity for adventure, an opportunity to tell my story, to use my breaking body as a vehicle of awareness to try to help others. When I was told I was ill I was angry, pent up furious anger that helped nobody, I would have asked myself why me, why did this happen to me?! Now I ask myself why not me? I have this rather large mouth, the ability to communicate with others like I'm doing right now as you're reading this, I'm a very lucky man to live the life that I do.

I believe that everyone should try to help somebody else if you have that chance, be selfless even if it's just for one day a year.

Life moves fast, be nice, make the most of it and above all else, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.

#IfICanYouCanToo

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/MusclesMatter1 

Our day in Pictures... https://flipagram.com/f/1BV7zk1AwVX




 

Face the Fear

The time of reckoning is nearly upon us and I have to say I have never been so apprehensive about anything in my life. I’ve been close. The nearest I’ve ever come to feeling like this was my wedding speech; absolutely tied up in knots, cotton wool mouth and a feeling of “I simply cannot do this”… And I didn’t have to. At the time my fiancé knew how I felt about her, so did everyone in the room, in every respect this was the most beautiful woman I had ever met, why should I need to tell 200 guests what they already knew?

So why am I putting myself through all this anxiety, tension and heartache simply just to climb a mountain? What’s the point of trying to prove something and who am I proving it to?

We’ve seen so much in the news lately that tells us life is too short. We need to grasp onto any opportunity that comes our way and make the most of what we have. I’ve always said there is someone worse off than me and I consider myself lucky, and I genuinely do.

At the start of this year I had a plan to take a team to the top of a mountain, and it’s still my plan. But I have had so many barriers put in my way and without doubt this is my biggest challenge to date. Immediately after I announced my plan, the challenge of a lifetime, I dislocated my right knee and it took months to get better, it’s still not 100% now. I have become so much weaker than I ever have been. I am losing certain movements daily. Earlier this year I could quite easily lift my mug of tea to my mouth, now that’s gone. I have to use one hand to help the other lift the cup to my lips. My legs are the weakest they’ve ever been, constantly shaking and over worked, as certain muscles try to compensate others that aren’t there anymore. It is my own admission that I see a shadow of my former self.

I have grown used to my body failing me but not really dealt with any other illness. About two weeks ago I was sat in my office and I had the biggest sense of fear wash over me, something terrible was going to happen to myself or my family. Pins and needles raged to my hands and feet, my lungs tightened and my head spun. I felt like I would never be happy ever again.

My colleagues took care of me and after I had calmed down a little I made my way to see my doctor. I just sat in the reception until I could be seen. I’m a grown man and I felt foolish and scared. How could I explain what had just happened, to someone who was practically a stranger? I did it though. My doctor invited a colleague in who was part of the mental health team and we spoke about all that was going on with my life, job, house, relationships, money; and it was all good, as I have previously said, I’m a very lucky man. Then we started to talk about the challenge I had planned and this brought the tickling back to my hands and feet, the head spinning dread rose up again.

After a little contemplation they had come to the conclusion that I had had a panic attack, and to prevent this happening again I should simply stop all my plans and cut this out of my life. I was gutted, completely empty, I thought I was going to let so many people down. I left the doctors surgery looking at the floor as I dragged my feet to the car, I sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks.

One thing I took from that appointment was that talking helped, I still had a niggle at the back of my mind but it was somehow controllable now because I sort of got a medication; if I told myself that I won’t be doing this then I had no need to worry.

I spoke some more too, a couple of nights later I called one of my friends who lives 200 miles away but he’d break his back to help you. We spoke for a good half an hour and he said we can just take it a step at a time, we would literally be doing what he had said, lower our expectations and always know that people realise what a challenge this will be, and also he told me what he thought of me and what he thought others think too. That was a boost, a great thing to hear. I am not here for the recognition or kudos, I’ve always said that I am here to help, life is short, why wouldn’t people try to help others?

I had a similar conversation with my wife and our eldest daughter, “We’ll just go for a walk in Wales and see where it leads us”

So, I am still up for it. I will never not try. Why make this effort though, as I said at the start, why bother?

The answer is we simply have to; we have to push ourselves to the limit, to not be ordinary, to try to make an impression and to better ourselves, to keep fit and in my case keep moving, to be selfless and help others.

On 1^st of July I will try and that’s all I can do. Besides, the emphasis has always been on me taking a team to climb a mountain and I have an amazing team behind me and no doubt they’ll be in front of me too! My strapline has always been ‘If I Can, You Can Too’ so if I gave up then I would be a hypocrite and I wouldn’t like myself very much.

To date we have raised about £1500 and that equates to 37.5 hours of world class research funded for by our team. That is most people’s working week, which means we have paid for a scientist to work on treatments and cures for these conditions, and hopefully this will contribute towards somebody else not going through what I go through both physically and mentally. No weakened muscles, no falls, no dislocations, no help needed when supping a brew.

Despite my condition I am always happy and would like to think I always will be; I have plenty to smile about and I hold on to everything that is positive in my life, I have to and you should too.

#IfICanYouCanToo

#MucslesMatter

 Donations can be made here...

 https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/musclesmatter1

The Dowhhill Struggle

In seven weeks’ time I will take on the biggest challenge of my life and I really can feel it. I am usually the most positive person that I know but yesterday I filled myself with fear and anxiety. 

We decided to go for a walk in our local woods which is located in the Chiltern Hills, and to challenge myself a little we wanted to take on some hills as preparation for the upcoming Snowdon climb. I didn’t even want to start, I had no enthusiasm whatsoever and I think that was my first hurdle, a psychological one rather than a physical one. I knew I had to bank some steps and keep my legs moving so we went anyway.

I was wobbly from the start, as the family purchased hot chocolate from the café I thought this was great because I got some respite – before we had even started! We set off on our local ‘Gruffalo’ trail and the ground was sodden and had been badly affected by the previous night’s weather.

This walk starts with a steep downhill section and I was gripping onto my wife and my walking stick for dear life, I constantly felt like I was going to fall but as I said, I desperately needed to bank these steps. I carried on to the bottom of the valley and actually smiled at the thought of the climb back up. My son-in-law (a qualified PT instructor) explained that this was because I simply have no hamstrings, therefore no power or confidence to hold myself up when I descend and my quads take care of business when walking up hill.

We reached halfway and I was absolutely shattered. I felt that I was letting everyone down and I have never been so down on myself. I’ve always tried to be the best dad I can be, despite my condition I’ve always wanted my girls to be inspired and get up and get out because of me. I felt awful, the most insecure I’ve ever felt.

We made it back to the top and I kept whispering apologies to my wife; Michelle. Sorry for holding her back, sorry for twisting her wrist, just sorry for being ‘me’ really, totally gutted……

As we got back to the car, totally exhausted, some funny things happened, in sickness and in health and more. Our Lucie set off with Nick to make dinner for Nick’s grandparents and Lucie gave me a hug and a kiss and told me “Well done, I love you Dad”, that made me so happy. As I sat in the boot of our car staring into space Olivia grabbed my boots and took them off for me because I couldn’t do it myself, “You do some great things Dad” she smiled.

I eventually slumped into the driver’s seat pondering when my car would be able to drive itself, because I was done. Our youngest, Skye, leaned over and kissed my cheek “Good one today, my legs are tired!” 

We drove home and the car was in silence, I think everyone had felt that hike and Michelle looked at me, grabbed my hand and said “You do some amazing things”… I had a lump in my throat.

I had gone from one of the worst places to one of the best; I don’t usually take praise well, water off a ducks back….. but I needed that. We do what we do because we want to fund world class research into Muscular Dystrophy, we’ve been through a lot as a family and we don’t want others to have to do that. The thought of climbing a mountain is really starting to takes its toll on me, but I’ll be surrounded by great people who will all believe in each other and spur each other on. In actual fact I’m petrified, but it is a challenge I’m willing to try and that is all I can ask of myself; to push myself to the absolute limit and see what happens.

I already feel better simply by writing this.

Link - https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/MusclesMatter1


#IfICanYouCanToo
#MoveAMountainForMuscles
#MoveAMileForMuscles
#MusclesMatter