Friday 31 August 2018

Keep Fighting



I haven’t done this writing lark for a while now so I might be a bit rusty, so please bear with me...

It’s been a topsy-turvy year with plenty of ups and downs. As a family we started this year with our house on the market; it simply wasn’t fit for purpose anymore. This is the first time I’ve really told anyone this but I’ve spent most of 2018 living out of my front room; sleeping on the couch because I cannot climb my own stairs anymore. The effects of my condition are creeping up on me at an alarming rate, so much so that it’s even surprised me.

I’ve felt like half the man I am. So when the sale of our house fell through for the second time, it very nearly broke me. We had an expectation that we would move into a house that was fit for us, with downstairs living and a wet room etc for me, but we lost this due to our buyer pulling out on the day of exchange. So here I am, still living on the sofa and it’s bloody painful!

The weekend that the sale fell through I started to feel different in my head, the colour was fading to black and white and the joy was leaving me. My wife kept asking me if I was okay and I just said ‘yes’, when I knew full well that I wasn’t. It got to the Tuesday morning, I was supposed to be at work and I found myself just driving around in my car, so very sad inside myself and I never thought I would ever be happy again.

Luckily I took some advice from my HR department to speak to my GP, and that’s what I did, through so many tears. She told me that she didn’t think I was depressed but that I was putting myself under a lot of pressure, and that I needed to step back from certain things. So that’s what I did and I also had a conversation with my wife about everything. I always thought it would have been daft to say certain things, but it really wasn’t. If you’re struggling then the best thing you can do is talk.

I decided not to worry too much about the house and things I cannot do anything about; what will be will be. We have tried to make things more comfortable for myself and hope that we can move house shortly.

I’ve been so lucky with help from family and friends this year. We had a group of friends come round and they did a mini DIY SOS on our house to help, and it really has. It’s also some of the same friends that have been fundraising this year and we have raised the most amount that we have ever raised so far!

Now here’s a thing about life; when you’re in your hour of need you will notice those that come running to help, and it’s those people that you should never forget. Also, you should
always remember there may come a time when they need your help too, so be prepared to get stuck in.

So we got ourselves back on our feet a little despite this also being a year for progression with my condition. I have noticed that steps are far more painful and the energy is fading more and more, and my anxiety in public places is getting more erratic. But all of my team were pushing themselves; round the London Marathon, out of planes, cycling 100 miles and so much more!

It might sound silly, but if I keep moving then, well, I keep moving! I haven’t been fundraising like I usually do, but we have started to pick that up a bit more lately and I’m starting to feel myself again; physically and psychologically, which is great for everyone.

A couple of weeks ago I got a surprise email from Muscular Dystrophy UK telling me that I had been nominated for a national award as ‘Volunteer of the Year’. This news swept me off my feet. This was recognition for everyone that has ever helped me to help others. I did not see this as a personal achievement or a badge for me to wear, this was for everyone; the family, the friends, the fundraisers, the supporters, those that sponsored and those people that have read my previous blogs and may well be reading this right now. This is all on you and I cannot thank you all enough!

It just doesn’t stop either. I am surrounded by people with the same thoughts as me and that’s to be selfless and human and try to think of others, those that are grateful for all they have and decide to share a little.

In September there is a 35 mile charity walk in Yorkshire hosted by TheSquare Ball, the award ceremony for Volunteer of the Year is in London on September 20th and I’m also on my very own fundraising adventure which I can tell you more about later.
 
So, as always I’ll finish this in a positive manner...

If you ever need help then ask for it, if you ever feel that you won’t be happy then talk to someone, quickly. Lastly, as my Dad once said; if you have a roof over your head and you know where your next meal is coming from then go and look for someone who doesn’t have those things and help them. You can take that as a metaphor and use it in any way you wish, just do your best to be nice.

Most importantly, for myself and others, keep fighting!


 #MusclesMatter











Here is my film that we made to promote Muscular Dystrophy UK