For me, social media has been an extremely positive experience, but I can appreciate it can be a dark place for so many people too and I’ve been asking myself why that is?
It seems that social media has enabled people to do and say as they wish and I believe this starts from the top down. Politicians and ‘trusted’ media outlets have been using vitriol and spreading bile for the last few years, more than ever before, and nobody has held them to account for it. What happens after that is every foot soldier for any political party, right across the spectrum, feels they have the right to also speak and write how they wish, without any comment or come-back expected.
Obviously, we are adults and can quite easily not write or reply to these remarks we see on a now daily basis, but some of us do and what I’ve learnt is that it will eventually end up causing me concerns for my own state of mind.
The problem with being politically argumentative on social media is that it then carries over into every single part of our lives. It is the age-old theory of the adult and the child; if the adult says or does something then you cannot expect the child not to copy.
It seems to have become acceptable to judge someone on the colour of their skin, their ability or disability, their size, their gender and indeed their mental health. This is unacceptable and we need to change this attitude and fast.
The old saying ‘if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all’ should be applied more often, and people should think more about how they interact with others and how they react to things they see on social media. My take has always been to show empathy, compassion and to be selfless, and trust me the return is incredible, it happens so naturally.
I’m not innocent here either. I was thinking about my memories the other day and they say that most come from love, laughs or sadly trauma. The earliest memory I have is being sat on a potty on the edge of Mount Snowdon, where I literally crapped myself! I don’t think many people have to think about memories too much nowadays because Facebook can take care of that for us. It’s as if we have exported that part of our brains to a 2TB external hard drive and with that goes emotion and care. Our children see this and replicate it on their tablets and pads too, some of this is our fault, but it’s in our hands to change that, and to go and physically make new memories before it’s too late.
After seeing and hearing lots of stories of people taking their lives, it resonates with me and reminded me of my dear friend Jermaine who sadly took his own life. He was exactly the sort of person who would definitely make you think everything was OK. He was, quite typically, the life and soul of anything he was involved in. I’ve never seen a smile like Jermaine’s and I’ll probably not see one like it again, and this is why we should all talk more, so these things are prevented.
‘Be Kind’ should be an emotional default, we shouldn't even have to think about it. It's the way I've been treated and the way I treat others. I have been so lucky simply by being selfless. I’ve seen great things from people, so we must take all the positives and tell others about them too.
Many adventures, memories and stories later and I’m still here fighting to beat my degenerative condition, and I actually feel like I’m winning both physically and mentally. And this isn’t all on me, it’s due to so many people around me. So many people have helped me come so far, due to belief and solidarity.
The friendships made along the way and the awareness and funds raised have been beyond all of my expectations. During my campaign over the many years, I’ve been on Radio, TV, our film campaigns, I’ve met some of my heroes, we’ve had royal invitations, I’ve represented in the Houses of Parliament, headed up the national ‘Move A Mile For Muscles’ campaign, taken 40 willing family and friends up Mount Snowdon, carried the Paralympic torch, raced around Brands Hatch, raised so much awareness & funds and so much more than that. All these things, along with friendships made, make all the pain worthwhile. The ability to be nice is really quite simple and will cost you absolutely nothing at all.
So where am I now? What’s next for me?
On April 9th I will be hosting a comedy show with Jon Richardson & friends at the Waterside Theatre, Aylesbury. This is my biggest event by a long, long way and will be one that I am most proud of. I was dragged up on the best of British comedy from The Goons, Month Python, Norman Wisdom and so on. I still keep pinching myself as I drive past the theatre most days, unable to believe this is actually happening. It’s going to be incredible!
The other day I was sat down enjoying my brew and I realised how far we have come, and I got quite emotional. I started with one blog post and walked one mile, which raised £1000.
We are now an official charity family fund called “Hywood’s Heroes” and to date have raised over £150,000, which equates to 3,333 hours of world class research. All paid for by us and indeed you, reading this!
This is what kindness, empathy and being selfless does. This is a massive positive about being on social media, this is the best of it, because I couldn’t have done it any other way. I find it impossible sometimes to put into words my gratitude and thanks to so many people. There was a time when I would sneak into football under the radar because of the way I walked due to muscle deterioration and exhaustion, utterly embarrassed by myself. Now I find it hard to meet up with so many people beforehand when there is also the important factor of indulging in chips and gravy before kick-off. Despite all my health issues I realise I am a very lucky person to have made so many friends.
I think we should all try to use the word ‘hate’ less, scroll past if you don’t like something, don’t comment if it’s not necessary and try to be a bit bloody nicer. As I said, it will cost you nothing at all and everyone will feel better about many more things. I believe there is a connection between social media and our mental well-being, and we should take breaks away from the social media bubble more and get out and about. Exercise is a massive tonic to help unlock the cobwebs, release the stored thoughts and end the self-doubt and the relentless questioning of ourselves.
Look out for those around you, ask if your friends are ok, be kind and be more selfless than you’ve ever been before. Take into account that we all have ups and downs and occasionally we need picking back up, because even the strongest of us fall down occasionally.
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| Some of #HywoodsHeroes - Friendship! |
Cheers! X
Samaritans – 116 123 from any phone
Mind – 0300 123 3393
#BeSelfless #MusclesMatter
